Monday, December 7, 2020

Thursday, November 26, 2020

Pathfinder: Kingmaker (via Pools of Radiance)

 Today I look at Pathfinder: Kingmaker, but not before I drift off into the past with a retrospective review of Pools of Radiance.




Sunday, November 22, 2020

Yuppie Psycho

Brian Pasternack is trapped in a cursed building. And it's his first day at work. Which is worse? Guide Brian through the mystery of the witch while enjoying some wicked 90s style pixel art. Tubular.



Friday, October 30, 2020

Caves of QUD review after 4 hours and many deaths

Caves of QUD is an awesomely epic rouge-like open world RPG from Freehold Games. You'll die, a lot. You'll be confused about the controls. You'll squint at the graphics.

But I reckon you'll love it.




Thursday, October 29, 2020

Ion Fury - Micro Review

Gavor does a little micro review of the terrific Ion Fury - a Build engine throwback made in the modern age. Definitely worth checking out! 




Battle Chasers - First Impressions

Gavor gives his first impressions of Battle Chasers - Nightwar. They're not great but, on the other hand...well, it could be worse.




Thursday, September 24, 2020

Thursday, May 7, 2020

Monster Prom



Surprise, surprise. It's a dating simulator set in a monstrous high school. No, not high school as depicted in every film about teenager ever, one populated with actual monsters. Pick a teenage monster then go through a short series of situations to woo a potential partner for the monster prom. I guess there's a market for this. One playthrough took me 30 minutes and was fairly painless, though dull. I nailed a date (heh heh) first try, so it's not particularly difficult. I think the idea is to keep playing through as all the characters and try to work out what each of the other characters want. I won't be doing this.

Oh, I forgot to add that it's multiplayer. Perhaps this adds to the amusement level, but reading through other reviews it seems that the positive reviews are mostly from people who appreciate the non-gender role approach to dating (which is fine by me, I ended up landing one of the male characters as my prom date) plus the tumblr style humour.

Not Recommended.

VERDICT: Not recommended

Final Word: The ability to pursue someone of either gender is pretty much standard fare now, or should be in a modern game, and I'm not 15 anymore so the humour definitely wasn't aimed at me.

Monster Prom on Steam

Thursday, March 26, 2020

Override: Mech City Brawl



A mech game of brawling and...that's about it. A beat-em up with robots basically. Fight monsters in various destructible environs (bit like the Godzilla game), throwing, punching and launching special attacks. The controls were a bit dull and probably lend themselves to a controller. I could only work out how to jump, punch and dash with any precision, occasionally pulling a fancy move out of my ass through the tried and tested method of mashing everything randomly. There are co-op and versus modes available and for this reason I've retained the game for future couch co-op. Mechs can also be upgraded and there and power-ups and extra weapons available.

VERDICT: As a single player game it was definitely not something for me, but local co-op is a possibility.

Final Word: Eh. It's a clunky brawler with dull controls. In this day and age I expect my beat-em-up games to be slick and crazy. It felt a lot like the old Godzilla game with more interesting environments. Maybe pair it up with a friend in co-op? I may revise the review after I get a chance to try it.

(game link)

Pathologic 2



Much like the original, this game is too weird and obtuse for my liking. You're a doctor and you return to your home village at the behest of your father. Amongst murder, a plague, and some odd birdmen who spout pseudo-gibberish, there must be an interesting mystery to be unravelled. I'm simply not interested in immersing myself in the setting and oddball delivery of it all.

VERDICT: It's not for me.

Final Word: There's a market for this weirdo game, much like there's a market for pegging. Some people will love it, some will hate it. At least I can say I gave it a go.

(game link)

Shenmue

No video or picture, this game doesn't deserve it.

Old. Clunky. Sooooo much stilted dialogue that sounds like it was recorded outside on a windy day, in the middle of a paddock, by a group of lobotomy patients. You seemingly need to talk to EVERYONE, and since that's half the game, it's a terrible half. These chats go on and on with the same inane back and forth a 10 year old might have written for his primary school narrative. It's terrible is what I'm trying to say, and a lot of it is unskippable cut-scene.

The main character walks like he's mired in a river of treacle, slowly shuffling from one poorly recorded exposition to another, pouting about his dead father with all the emotion of an eggplant. You have almost zero agency while this is happening, your part in the game seems to be piloting the avatar through the bland and dated scenery like in one of those old arcade games...Dragon Quest? Dragon's Lair? I never got to the combat, though I hear it sucks and takes a bunch of grinding to improve via pointless mini-games. (I'm sorry, I really didn't put a lot of time into this game, maybe an hour or so? It was distressingly dull and I couldn't go on. I watched a few reviews and gameplay videos instead, and even they were bad for my emotional well-being).

In a bid to learn what makes this game popular I snuck about in the interwebs reading other people's reviews and I learned the following: anyone who owned a Dreamcast (for which this was both the marque game, and a big reason it failed) is still going around in rose tinted glasses and refuses to acknowledge that this is a great big pile of shit. Anyone else thinks it's pointless, endless, garbage.

VERDICT: Some games age like fine wine and still play well, even after 20 years. This is not one of those games.

Final Word: Just noticed the Shenmue 1 and 2 bundle on Steam is $50AUD! You'd have to have hit your head repeatedly before this looked like a good deal. I got them for next to nothing via Humble, and I still consider it a waste of money. Shenmue #2 will forever remain unplayed, and that makes me a better person.

(game link)

Livelock



Run, shoot, blow things up. A twin stick shooter that I played with a keyboard and mouse, because that's what civilised people do. Livelock features robot avatars on a mission to save the world from other robots. The varied powers, weapons and powerups of the playable robots are numerous and varied across the different models, but generally boil down to shoot more, shoot faster or activate a power that knocks things over or affects their movement. It's ok. Speaking of ok, the enemies are plentiful and the variety of their types is acceptable. Some shoot, some punch, and some explode. The terrain also explodes, though not all of it, so you'll find yourself totalling a truck, but unable to affect a line of bollards. It's all.....ok.

VERDICT: Probably worth $5 from the bargain bin but not a cent more.

Final Word: It's definitely worth checking out for the co-op mode if nothing else.

(game link)