Very old school gamers ranting about stuff they love, but mostly about stuff they hate. Be sure to check out the debate in the comments!
Wednesday, March 10, 2021
Monday, December 7, 2020
Thursday, November 26, 2020
Pathfinder: Kingmaker (via Pools of Radiance)
Today I look at Pathfinder: Kingmaker, but not before I drift off into the past with a retrospective review of Pools of Radiance.
Sunday, November 22, 2020
Yuppie Psycho
Brian Pasternack is trapped in a cursed building. And it's his first day at work. Which is worse? Guide Brian through the mystery of the witch while enjoying some wicked 90s style pixel art. Tubular.
Friday, October 30, 2020
Caves of QUD review after 4 hours and many deaths
Thursday, October 29, 2020
Ion Fury - Micro Review
Gavor does a little micro review of the terrific Ion Fury - a Build engine throwback made in the modern age. Definitely worth checking out!
Battle Chasers - First Impressions
Gavor gives his first impressions of Battle Chasers - Nightwar. They're not great but, on the other hand...well, it could be worse.
Thursday, October 1, 2020
Thursday, September 24, 2020
Fallen Enchantress: Legendary Heroes - First Impressions
First impression video for Fallen Enchantress: Legendary Heroes, a 2013 game released by Stardock.
Thursday, May 7, 2020
Monster Prom
Surprise, surprise. It's a dating simulator set in a monstrous high school. No, not high school as depicted in every film about teenager ever, one populated with actual monsters. Pick a teenage monster then go through a short series of situations to woo a potential partner for the monster prom. I guess there's a market for this. One playthrough took me 30 minutes and was fairly painless, though dull. I nailed a date (heh heh) first try, so it's not particularly difficult. I think the idea is to keep playing through as all the characters and try to work out what each of the other characters want. I won't be doing this.
Oh, I forgot to add that it's multiplayer. Perhaps this adds to the amusement level, but reading through other reviews it seems that the positive reviews are mostly from people who appreciate the non-gender role approach to dating (which is fine by me, I ended up landing one of the male characters as my prom date) plus the tumblr style humour.
Not Recommended.
VERDICT: Not recommended
Final Word: The ability to pursue someone of either gender is pretty much standard fare now, or should be in a modern game, and I'm not 15 anymore so the humour definitely wasn't aimed at me.
Monster Prom on Steam
Thursday, March 26, 2020
Override: Mech City Brawl
A mech game of brawling and...that's about it. A beat-em up with robots basically. Fight monsters in various destructible environs (bit like the Godzilla game), throwing, punching and launching special attacks. The controls were a bit dull and probably lend themselves to a controller. I could only work out how to jump, punch and dash with any precision, occasionally pulling a fancy move out of my ass through the tried and tested method of mashing everything randomly. There are co-op and versus modes available and for this reason I've retained the game for future couch co-op. Mechs can also be upgraded and there and power-ups and extra weapons available.
VERDICT: As a single player game it was definitely not something for me, but local co-op is a possibility.
Final Word: Eh. It's a clunky brawler with dull controls. In this day and age I expect my beat-em-up games to be slick and crazy. It felt a lot like the old Godzilla game with more interesting environments. Maybe pair it up with a friend in co-op? I may revise the review after I get a chance to try it.
(game link)
Pathologic 2
Much like the original, this game is too weird and obtuse for my liking. You're a doctor and you return to your home village at the behest of your father. Amongst murder, a plague, and some odd birdmen who spout pseudo-gibberish, there must be an interesting mystery to be unravelled. I'm simply not interested in immersing myself in the setting and oddball delivery of it all.
VERDICT: It's not for me.
Final Word: There's a market for this weirdo game, much like there's a market for pegging. Some people will love it, some will hate it. At least I can say I gave it a go.
(game link)
Shenmue
Old. Clunky. Sooooo much stilted dialogue that sounds like it was recorded outside on a windy day, in the middle of a paddock, by a group of lobotomy patients. You seemingly need to talk to EVERYONE, and since that's half the game, it's a terrible half. These chats go on and on with the same inane back and forth a 10 year old might have written for his primary school narrative. It's terrible is what I'm trying to say, and a lot of it is unskippable cut-scene.
The main character walks like he's mired in a river of treacle, slowly shuffling from one poorly recorded exposition to another, pouting about his dead father with all the emotion of an eggplant. You have almost zero agency while this is happening, your part in the game seems to be piloting the avatar through the bland and dated scenery like in one of those old arcade games...Dragon Quest? Dragon's Lair? I never got to the combat, though I hear it sucks and takes a bunch of grinding to improve via pointless mini-games. (I'm sorry, I really didn't put a lot of time into this game, maybe an hour or so? It was distressingly dull and I couldn't go on. I watched a few reviews and gameplay videos instead, and even they were bad for my emotional well-being).
In a bid to learn what makes this game popular I snuck about in the interwebs reading other people's reviews and I learned the following: anyone who owned a Dreamcast (for which this was both the marque game, and a big reason it failed) is still going around in rose tinted glasses and refuses to acknowledge that this is a great big pile of shit. Anyone else thinks it's pointless, endless, garbage.
VERDICT: Some games age like fine wine and still play well, even after 20 years. This is not one of those games.
Final Word: Just noticed the Shenmue 1 and 2 bundle on Steam is $50AUD! You'd have to have hit your head repeatedly before this looked like a good deal. I got them for next to nothing via Humble, and I still consider it a waste of money. Shenmue #2 will forever remain unplayed, and that makes me a better person.
(game link)
Livelock
VERDICT: Probably worth $5 from the bargain bin but not a cent more.
Final Word: It's definitely worth checking out for the co-op mode if nothing else.
(game link)
Whispers of a Machine
A point and click adventure game set in the future. It features a detective with special powers of deduction provided by cybernetic bits implanted in her body bits. You're solving futuristic crimes, like murder (futuristic murder) and theft (futuristic theft), and you know it's futuristic because you need the aforementioned fancy implants to interrogate people and look for clues. It's all just a bunch of shortcuts for what in the present day would be forensics and lie detectors. In practice it's actually pretty cool. The setting is...fine. Generic future-drab with a hint of Blade Runner.
VERDICT: A good adventure game with nice game play mechanics set in a bland world.
Final Word: I liked what I played and, even with my natural aversion to adventure games (I finished Maniac Mansion on the C64 and have not played more than a handful of hours of any game in the genre since), I think I might play some more.
(game link)
Monday, February 10, 2020
Astroneer
A fun miner/builder with cute graphics and an engaging power management system. The first 5 hours were enough fun to encourage another 5 hours of gameplay. After crashing on a planet you begin work on a base of operations by mining for resources, conducting research on "stuff", and building various machines to process/power/construct your way to escape - at which point you fly to another planet/moon and start again with different materials. These new materials then need to be brought together with materials from other location to make even more complicated machinery and it was at this point I lost interest.
Essentially you are restarting the game in a new location, but it's a lot easier since you have access to materials from your original base. The core gameplay doesn't change as you expand and since mining/exploring wasn't that interesting to begin with, simply consisting of walking/driving around and sucking up the stuff you needed from underground, there isn't really a lot more to see and do. The lure of researching new things is deadened when outcomes devolve into "same as last tier, but bigger or faster".
Possibly a game best suited to a younger audience or a more casual one which has grown bored of Minecraft and doesn't like the look of more complex games like Space Engineers or Avorion.
VERDICT: Sci-fi themed building and mining that turns tedious real fast.
Final Word: One for younger or more casual players. Well made but quite shallow.
(game link)
Thursday, November 28, 2019
Battletech
Battletech was always going to be my thing. A game system I've owned (though not played a lot) since the early 90s, purchased with money from my first job. When I discovered the digital games, Crescent Hawks Inception/Revenge, I played the hell out of them. Mechwarrior (1,2,3,4) rocked my world, particularly Mechwarrior 2 Mercenaries. Turn based tactical games in particular are my jam, going way back to Empire on the C64 (I realise this was a strategy game, but it is the first turn based game I remember playing) and then moving through XCom and on to more modern games like Divinity: Original Sin.
In spite of the above, I waited for a long time to pick it up and play. There are a lot of games on my to-play list and I try not to bump them just to take up the latest thing that grabs my attention. Even after purchasing it sat on my desktop for another month or two before I decided it was time to have a go. I'm not going to lie, it was a bit of a let-down initially. The first four or five hours feel pretty generic and after levelling the pilots for a while I had this feeling that combat wasn't particularly complex. A thought sat in the back of my mind for some time, when I reach the 100T mechs this is just going to turn into a toe-to-toe slugfest. Never fear, it didn't.
There are enough mechanics away from the combat to keep you occupied. Mechs need to be repaired and refitted and you can modify their weapons, armour and equipment. Pilots need to be trained across 5 (?) attributes which add bonuses and unlock new skills, both active and passive. I trained each to have a particular speciality like indirect fire (using a catapult with many many missiles) or long range with autocannons, or melee. The dropship itself can be upgraded in many different areas such as medical facilities, mech repairs/bays and so on.
I won't go into the story too much as it's fairly generic fare. Someone loses their position of power, you used to work for their clan, now you're a mercenary. That person engages your mercenary group to help take the power back. After a bunch of things™ happen, you come to a bittersweet conclusion involving guns and explosions. Tidy, but unremarkable. When the story ends you can embark on an endless series of randomly generated mercenary missions picked from locations all over the galaxy (or at least the portion the game is set in).
VERDICT: I really enjoyed it. A definite recommendation for lovers of stompy robots, science fiction, or turn based tactical combat games.
Final Word: RECOMMENDED
(game link)
OG Xbox Game Reviews
007 Agent under fire: An old school shooter with gadgets. Like No One Lives Forever, except not as good. Very dated but it ran smoothly and the shooting was brisk.
Aeon Flux: Lots of cut scenes. LOTS of cut scenes. Very zoomed out and stylistic, flashy lights, reflections, weird camera angles. It's basically a 3D platformer and would probably appeal to people who like that sort of thing.
Alias: Like a cut-rate Hitman without the killing (maybe?). I didn't play enough to find out, it was booooring and I never watched the show. Game seemed to assume I was an Alias fan, so nothing was explained.
Aliens vs Predator: Extinction: Looks like fun. It's an RTS, but in the squad management mould - no base building or unit building. I'll play this again. - https://www.gamespot.com/reviews/aliens-versus-predator-extinction-review/1900-6072952/
Arx Fatalis: A great old RPG from around 2002/2003 that plays like an elder scrolls game. I've played it a bit on PC but never got that far. Runs well and looks pretty good, though of course everything is a little clunkier with a controller. Defn play again, though it might prompt me to finally run through it on the PC if the UI annoys me too much. https://www.gamespot.com/reviews/arx-fatalis-review/1900-6083711/
Battle Engine Aquila: A game about piloting a transformable mech. You either stomp around shooting things, or fly around shooting things. The tutorial was fun. https://www.gamespot.com/reviews/battle-engine-aquila-review/1900-2909822/
Blazing Angels: If you like WW2 planes and shooting things down, this seems like it's a cool game. Played the intro mission and enjoyed it. Looked decent, ran well - annoying American voice overs. https://www.gamespot.com/reviews/blazing-angels-squadrons-of-wwii-review/1900-6146935/
Black Stone: I couldn't find a working review link for this one, that's how good it was. A slow, clunky, janky gauntlet dark legacy clone. The best I can offer is this metacritic page, which flatters it. https://www.metacritic.com/game/xbox/black-stone-magic-steel
Burnout 2: Drive. Crash. Explode. Re-spawn. A racing game.
Close Combat First to Fight: Bog standard old-school squad based FPS. Apparently the co-op is split screen and a bit of fun, but no chance to test that yet. Run down streets, run into buildings, shoot muslim soldier caricatures. It was...mediocre. I'd give co-op a try.
Dynasty Warriors 5: A terrible fighting game. You, plus an army of nobodies, versus hundreds of meat shields. So bleh. I played something similar on the Xbox One a while ago and this is a worse version of what, ten or more years later, was also a bland game. Maybe it gets better if you put some time into it, but the reviews I skimmed online did not support this hypothesis.
Fallout - Brotherhood of steel: An Action RPG using the Dark Alliance engine. Supports 2 players max I think. Definitely more adult than Dark Alliance. Worth playing co-op.
Baldurs Gate - Dark Alliance: Action RPG. Co-op for 2 ppl, hack and slash with spells and stuff. Loot things, level up...WARNING: Jumping puzzles.
Demon Stone: A Forgotten Realms action RPG featuring the voice of Patrick Stewart and an emsemble fo characters to play. Combat is against multiple enemies at once with lots of things happening around you. Simplistic so far but looks to have a lot of skills/perks to gain while levelling. Fun.
Full Spectrum Warrior: A squad based cover shooter, Has co-op.
Land of the Dead: An FPS based on the movie of the same name. You're a farmer at home alone when a zombie outbreak hits. Seems to focus more on running away and solving simple puzzles (find the key, cut the chain etc) than trying to kill zombies, though I still killed quite a few. Enjoyed what I played. My wife sat with me, dispensing suggestions both helpful and unhelpful. Also a lot of "LOOK OUT" and "I told you so."
Jurassic Park: Operation Genesis: A park building and dinosaur breeding game. My son loved it for 2 days then never talked about it again.
Iron Phoenix: A martial arts fighting game that appears to only support online or system link games. I think it is all about arena battles against multiple enemies. Offline play is just you vs a bunch of AI. The moves are the usual jumping, chi based powers, kicks and punches. There are multiple characters to choose from but I got bored before learning or caring how they differed. Weapons could be picked up and used and the moves were interesting, but ultimately it's just a series of chaotic arena fights and the main draw from the original release - multiplayer - is no longer viable.
25 to Life: A 90s gangster style 3rd person shooter. The gameplay didn't suck balls, but it was nothing new. Run to a spot, use cover, shoot at cops. Run to cover, etc. I hate the whole late 90s/early 2000s cop-killer gangster thing, so this one was duly deleted. (you might protest and say, but what about GTA San Andreas, you loved that! Actually, no, that's the one I hated. Like, REAAAAAALLY hated.)
4x4 Evolution 2: A bland racing game that may have been interesting 15 years ago, but is now just a footnote in history. Very little of interest here for the modern gamer. It runs well, smooth and without any over weird behaviours, controls are precise. Looks like shit and the nature of the vehicles - off-road things of various types - do not lend themselves to beauty in the first place. All the usual basic racing modes plus split screen.
Advent Rising: An action adventure game in 3rd person. Sci-fi, first contact deal, some good guy aliens appear and warn you that the bad guy aliens will be here in a few weeks - then the bad guy aliens drop in an hour later and fuck everything up. It looked pretty crap visually and stuttered a lot in complex scenes, but it was obviously trying hard for the time to be something cool and unique. The shooting and punching was okay and the story is by Orson Scott Card. Looking back it felt like a proto-Mass Effect. To be played again I think, there was a lot of potential in the mechanics I saw and the story was engaging enough.
Airforce Delta Storm: An arcade "flight sim" from the late 90s (around 99, maybe even 2000) that was ported to Xbox. Flying a jet of some kind you select hotspots on a map and fly a mission at that location. When back at base you can unlock new jets and munitions. I dominated with the base jet, destroying all air threats, tanks, trucks and even navy vessels with ease, so I assume these new jets are needed for future threats. There appears to be only the two weapons, missiles that lock on to both air and ground targets equally well, and a cannon that is about as useful as you would expect. Once or twice I used it on a ground target. You don't resupply munitions until you return to base. Runs fine, plays ok. Was probably a bit of fun 20 years ago.
Alter Echo: A scifi third person hack and slash featuring psychic powers and manipulable matter. You stab, you jump, you use the powers of your mind to do things. Initial thoughts:
America's Army: A fun, squad based, FPS with an emphasis on 'realism' and using real world tactics. Or so I assume, I'm not in the army. I enjoyed the training missions and though the skill system could potentially extend interest and playability by allowing for character customisation. Initial thoughts: This was fun, by far the best put together of the squad based shooters I have played so far. I forgot it was such a huge genre back in the early 2000s.
American Chopper 1 and 2: A game about bikers going around doing motorcycle things. Based on a television show I think. Pure horseshit. Initial thoughts: Fuck off.
Apex: A game based around building up a fictitious car company that is focused on racing. The driving and customisation are basic and bog standard. There was absolutely no lee-way on corners (hitting a raised curb on an apex almost stops you dead). Even though I hit everything imaginable and drove off the road a lot I still came third, so, it was fairly forgiving. Game runs fine but looks bollocks and blocky. Apex is a dressed up arcade racer defined only by the ability to build up your car brand and race them against real world car makes. Initial thoughts: Bored. Nothing I haven't played 100x before.
Aquaman - Battle for Atlantis: Awful garbage
Arctic Thunder: A snowmobile racing game of all things. Looked shit when I was selecting options and setting up the race, then it hung. Probably the best of all possible outcomes. Initial thoughts: Terribad.
Wednesday, November 6, 2019
What the hell is going on with this review site!
First and foremost, I'm not playing a lot of small games right now. ARMA3 Liberation, Outer Worlds and Battletech have dominated game time and I don't feel people need yet another review by a backwater site on the subject of a AAA game release. Suffice to say I like all three games and you should defn buy them if their genre is in your wheelhouse.
Second, it's spring where I live, coming into summer. This time of year I play more sport, do more training and spend a lot less time gaming. For this reason I might branch out into board game reviews or board game session reports. I tend to play more board games when the weather is good.
Third, I've been playing through a heap of games on my original XBox. I might post a bunch of micro reviews, I just want to touch on every title I have even a fleeting interest in and give a brief summary of the underlying game style plus my thoughts. Maybe.
Fourth, work is busy. Life is busy. I'm older (as the banner suggests) and I have older children whom I spend a lot of time chasing around or doing things with. Last night I was playing Street Fighter 2 and Dead or Alive with my 15 year old. He's never seen either and we had a great laugh.
Fifth, I'm doing a lot of other writing that kind of takes up what little creative time I have. These are fiction I'm going to submit in the next six months in the hopes of following up the publication of my first story earlier this year.
Do I have a lot of games to play and review? Oh my god, yes. Do I have time to do it? Probably. But it would mean pushing aside a bunch of other jobs and hobbies, and right now the focus is on them rather than game review. Soon though, the pendulum with swing this way once more. Until then...game on.


